Archive for October, 2005

Marriage and the Modern Prometheus

Do not be alarmed! This has nothing to do with my precious wife, Becky. I am referring in timely fashion to Mary Shelley, author of one of my favorite novels, the gothic tale of Dr. Frankenstein and his hideous creation.

Tonight I watched a documentary on the life of Mary Shelley, a tale of horror in and of itself. Her mother was a feminist who died shortly after Mary’s birth. Her father was a proponent of the “free love” movement. (This sounds like the modern day liberal movement in America, but it was in the early 19th century! Nothing new under the sun!) Mary embraced her father’s teachings (much to his dismay, ironically) and eloped with a married man, Percy Shelley. They later married after his pregnant wife committed suicide. Together they had several children, but all of them died in infancy except one. Though they talked about free love and practiced what they preached, their writings clearly show that they desired something deeper, more exclusive.

Mary Shelley teaches us a lesson far greater than the dangers of man playing God in the laboratory. She shows us that the story of man’s creation as found in the Bible actually prescribes the healthiest model of male/female relationships of all. The man and the woman are to leave their parents and remain inseparable; they are to “get jiggy with it” and have kids in that committed context. See. Gen. 2:24.

The Bible makes clear that God created marriage between one man and one woman as the centerpiece of society. He also made it clear that sex outside of this context is destructive to the individual and thus to society. Mary and Percy found that out the hard way. They eventually traded in their free love relationship for a marriage.

Here are two scenarios that I have observed:

  1. Sex only in context of marriage between husband and wife for life: no risks.
    Typically characterized by commitment; loyalty; self-control; mental and emotional stability; no fear of sexually transmitted disease; security; healthy, well-balanced sex life and healthy, well-balanced children; strong faith
  2. Everything else, including fornication, adultery, bigamy, polygamy, homosexuality, pornography, etc.: Risks include unwanted pregnancies; abortion; disease; betrayal; divorce and even murder. Typically characterized by lack of commitment; emotional dysfunction; mental distress; distrust; favoritism; jealousy

My wife and I have lived scenario #1. Easier said than done, but without an ounce of regret we married as virgins and have remained faithful. Our marriage is peaceful and fearless, and our kids are secure. Perhaps God’s plan for marriage and sex is best (duh!). We have observed the lives of those who chose scenario #2, and do not envy them or their regrets.

Free love comes with price tag. Which scenario does your life reflect most? As fast as you can, recommit to #1 and don’t look back. You will never regret it. I know several people who used to live by scenario #2, but changed. Though they can never go back to reclaim their virginity and undo the negative consequences of their choices, they resolved to marry and remain faithful to this day.

Choose to control your sexuality; don’t let it control you. Again, easier said than done. TIP: it’s a LOT easier when you ask God for the strength to wait for marriage and remain true to your spouse. You really can’t do it without Him. Ask Him right now:

“Dear Jesus, I need a new heart that loves to follow your plan. Come into my life and change me. I surrender my life to you.”

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