Reality Check
Dear friends,
A wise piano composer recently told me this about God:
He has to ‘pull’ things into being. I cannot ‘push’ things to happen.
I’m coming to realize that it may be a few more years before I’ll be able to invest 100% into music. Seems like every musician faces this dilemma in one way or another. I’m thankful God has given me the skill of web development to provide stability for my family while I move in the direction of my deeper passion.
My Dad once said, “You can’t steer a ship unless it’s moving.” So we keep moving and trusting that God will direct our steps into all the good things He has prepared for us in His time.
Unfortunately this means the Now I Sleep project will take longer than I originally planned. Thank you for your patience. I’ve got about four songs complete, six more to go. Pray for me and this project please.
I treasure your prayers, your support, and your friendship.
John
Whisperings Solo Piano Radio
Whisperings: Solo Piano Radio is a free online radio station dedicated to promoting quality solo piano music on par with George Winston, David Lanz, and Jim Brickman. It is a collaborative promotional effort between pianists of similar style.
The “DJ” of this radio station is a great fellow by the name of David Nevue, who is also a solo piano composer. David just informed me that two of my piano works from the Zuzu’s Petals CD have been included in their rotation, “In The Shadow Of Your Wing” and “Lullaby For Hope”.
Many thanks to David Nevue for this great honor. Please support me and my fellow solo piano artists by listening to Whisperings: Solo Piano Radio. I can’t think of a better tool to relieve stress and clear your mind.
The Cure For Shyness
I discovered something in the last two weeks that has freed me from a lifetime of shyness.
It has changed the way I view myself in the workplace, in social settings, and how I relate with my children. It has greatly reduced my fears of success and of failure, and thus has opened me up to try new things.
The moment of discovery occurred while listening to Brian Tracy’s Success Mastery Academy during the drive to work one morning.
Mr. Tracy was saying that we limit our ability to succeed in business when we do not like ourselves. He had the listener repeat “I like myself!” over and over again until they sincerely mean it. At first I sneered at this exercise, but what shocked me was how difficult it was for me to say it. I realized at that moment:
I don’t like myself!
I started examining myself, “Does God like you, John? Yes, He delights in me. Do other people like you, John? Yes, I have many friends. Then why don’t you like yourself, John? I don’t know!” I resolved at that moment to say, “I like myself!” throughout the rest of the day as an experiment.
The impact was powerful and immediate. I couldn’t say it without smiling. I found myself greeting strangers instead of walking with my head down. I felt empowered to look at my employer in the eye instead of feeling guilty for no reason. I actually enjoyed our Christmas parties this year instead of watching from a distance.
The cause of my shyness and false guilt was clearly my dislike of myself, though I never realized it before. As far as I can tell, much of this stemmed from years of spiritual abuse during childhood. To stay in the good graces of my spiritual leaders I had to maintain a “look” of humility. I would beat myself up emotionally until I felt humble enough. I disliked myself into a spirit of sadness, and that worked at the time.
In God’s goodness, He doesn’t leave us in our broken state. He ever-so-graciously brings us to these break-through moments of self-discovery, at the right place and right time, for our good and for His glory.
Do you struggle with shyness or false guilt?
If so, what keeps you from liking yourself?
Side note: Perhaps there are legitimate feelings of guilt for disobeying God or wronging others. I can only point to the reason we celebrate Christmas. God, requiring justice but loving mercy, entered our physical world to provide a way for us to be forgiven of all of our sins–past, present and future. Forgiving ourselves starts with receiving forgiveness from God and from others. Beyond that, what’s not to like about you?
Life In HD
The other morning my son was watching a popular kids show in High Definition (HD), and the camera was zoomed in on the hostess. It seemed to me that she had not slept much the night before they taped the show because I could see bags under her eyes. HD certainly lets us see imperfections with greater clarity.
Like HDTV, social networks like Facebook and Twitter allow us to see imperfections and negative trends in others more clearly as well. It seems the more connected we are, the more transparent and honest we are forced to become.
My own small town of Arlington, TN, experienced this first hand over the past couple of weeks as Mayor Russell Wiseman’s conversation with Facebook “friends” hit the national news. I don’t have enough facts to make a fair judgment regarding the situation (nor do I care to), but my point is that there is a big [Remove] button next to our own posts for a good reason. I have clicked that button many times myself.
When we choose to live in HD, we place ourselves under a social microscope where we are held more accountable to the truth. Our imperfections appear more frequently, but our sensitivity and attention to them lessens each time someone else’s jump to the forefront.
Pretty soon, we’ll realize just how imperfect we all are. Sadly, we may start to accept our own imperfection on that basis.
Speechless In Memphis
My dear friends,
Have you ever found yourself speechless? Since the release of my album, Zuzu’s Petals, I have. Here’s why.
The release of this album also marked the release of self-employment. I started a contract position developing websites for a Memphis website consulting firm two weeks ago.
Since then God has shown me a few things about myself.
Humility. I’ve discovered that I don’t know or understand much of what I thought I did. That tends to make someone speechless.
Purpose. I’ve discovered that God wants me to know Him more than He wants me to do stuff for Him. I’ve been more concerned with knowing about Him than knowing Him, and telling about Him than talking with Him. Read more thoughts on this here.
Priorities. I’ve discovered that my family wasn’t as important to me as I claimed they were. Becky put it this way, “I wish you were as passionate about your family as your are about your music.” What she’s saying is that my family needs a leader, not just a manager. They need vision and purpose, and I wasn’t giving it to them. Next time I’ll share with you what I’m doing to help fill that void.
I wouldn’t trade the last seven months of self-employment for anything. I’ve learned a lot about running a business and marketing, and I have invented products that reflect my own unique personality and passions. I gave 100% to everything, and I am pleased with all the seeds that I have planted, but now it’s time to re-prioritize. God first. Becky and the kids second. John and his music third.
As for the work done this past summer, it’s time to water and wait. As for the future, the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep project will be my snack right before bed.
Over the next six months I will share my progress, and what I am learning about God, my family and life. Let me know your thoughts. Maybe we can grow together.
Yours in Christ,
John Albert Thomas
John Albert Thomas began composing original, melody-based piano works when he was 12 years old. His compositions have the simplicity and thinly-layered delicacy of Mozart, combined with a contemporary sound reminiscent of Enya, George Winston, and Jim Brickman. In 1995, John graduated from Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama, with a bachelors degree in Music Theory and Composition. Upon graduation he moved to Memphis, Tennessee where he now lives with his wife, Rebecca, and their four children. John has released several solo piano albums, and continues his work on future projects. 
