Think Faith

I have some catching up to do!

How is it that I have spent over 25 years as a Christian and yet I still do not know how to pray. My complete apathy towards prayer has remained a mystery to me all of these years. Why have I not yearned to talk to my Heavenly Father?

Is it for lack of love? No, for I love Him deeply. Is it for lack of faith? No, I trust Him completely.
If not these, then what do I lack?
Father, show me the answer this week.

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I was listening to one of C. H. Spurgeon’s sermons on prayer when God gave me an insight into myself. I do not pray much because I do not want much. I do not want much because I do not want to hurt much. In other words, in an effort to keep pain at arm’s length I have kept God at arm’s length.

All of my life I have lived with a presumption of God’s power and goodness towards me and my family. If good things happen, He is proven faithful; if bad things happen, He has not ceased to be trustworthy. I assume that He will take care of us according to His good and perfect will. I will humbly submit my will to His, whatever the outcome. This mindset has brought great peace and tranquility to our household in all circumstances, but it bears the trace of something insidious: Presumption! Assumption! Apathy!

These three sister poisons, manufactured in Satan’s apothecary, relax the mind and heart into spiritual slumber and cold indifference. How did this doctor of death slip these toxic potions so subtly? How?

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Oh, what fiendish conniving! What trickery! It is with only half the truth. He has reminded me of my role as God’s obedient servant to the abandonment of my greater role as God’s beloved son! I have forgotten my adoption as son into the family of my Father!

I should be more precise. Let us look at the nature of children.

When a child wants something, he desires it deeply. He cries out for it as if he would die without it. He remains persistent, convinced that his constant requests will penetrate his father’s heart and change his mind. He is not passive; he is passionate. He knows that his father is the one person who can give him what his heart desires. Therein hides the secret: Desire! Persistence! Passion!

These three sister antidotes, grown in the Father’s garden, awaken the mind and heart into spiritual animation and burning anticipation. They create an importance and urgency within us that drives us to the Father in prayer.
The great figures of the Bible do not entreat God with pathetic requests like, “I kind of want this or that.” Did not our Elder Brother sweat drops of blood in earnest prayer to our Father?

Satan whispers, “The thing you ask for might not be God’s will for you. Don’t get your hopes up.” My reply is this, “Who am I that I should presume to know God’s will before I ask Him? I will ask, and not half-heartedly either. It may very well be that God Himself put that burning desire into my heart to drive me to Him in prayer! Away with you, Deceiver! I will pray.”

So, now, what do I want from my Father? I think I should make a list of specific things that I want most from Him. I will allow myself to want those things. Then I will take each one of them to the Father in earnest, expectant prayer.