Think Faith

This week I have been listening to the Book of Acts on my iPod, which has revolutionized my understanding of Scripture. I think that because I’ve been hearing and reading Bible verses all of my life they can sometimes appear more of a string of pearls out of context rather than a single ribbon of thought as the author intended. Listening forces me to hear that single stream so that verses remain in context and thus make a lot more sense.

Well, one cannot listen to the account of Acts very long without sensing the courage of Paul and Peter born out of conviction. They could not deny what they had seen and heard; they refused to lie. They spoke the truth and let the chips fall where they may.

What about me? I don’t have that kind of boldness. I’m terrified of telling people what I believe, that is outside of blogs and other “safe” environments. Too many times I have shut my mouth when I could have spoken up. I don’t think that I can say with Paul that I have a clear conscience and no blood on my hands in this regard. In some ways I’ve bowed the knee to the post-modern demand that all spiritual matters must remain private and personal. So I keep silent. But there is nothing personal about truth, just like 2+2=4 no matter who you are or what you believe.

I have been convicted this week to pray that God would grant me the boldness and courage of Paul and Peter. God answered my prayers yesterday. On two occasions I spoke up where I normally would have remained silent. I offered a listening ear to a guy I don’t know who is going through a divorce, and I gave my testimony of all God is showing me to an old coworker of mine. I had to say something in both cases because I felt the conviction to say something.

As I grow in confidence that the Bible is an accurate record and that its claims hold firm I feel greater courage emerging in me. I will continue to pray for more conviction and more courage. May my lips be used to speak Truth in love with gentleness and repect. I like where this is headed!

Wow! A lot has happened since my last posting.

Letting go of what I used to think was an admirable trait, the desire for greatness, was like pulling down the curtain of pride in my heart to reveal a hidden door to a world of adventure. And what an adventure it has become. After God showed me the futility of the pursuit of greatness, He deeply impressed upon me that it was FINALLY time to embrace the call to full-time ministry as a pastor.

Perhaps the greatest torment of my mind over the years has been the conflict between knowing my calling and the fact that God kept saying, “Wait.” This struggle used to occur once per year, then twice per year, and then one day it would not stop. This time I prayed for a week or two before approaching Becky; she had suffered enough with my periodic melancholy. When I told her of this she confirmed the same sense of God’s calling and that now is the time. We prayed together and remained in unity and peace in this regard.

The following two weeks were the most difficult weeks we’ve experienced. It seemed like we were falling apart. The kids were unruly, Ainsley almost broke her arm during a fall, Emma fell on her head, and more. I don’t recall all the details, but I do remember calling on God for supernatural power to be patient with my kids and loving towards my dear Becky. By His power, we were able to come out the other side a bit frazzled but encouraged to know that we were on the path of obedience. We also received much confirmation from people who know us.

At the same time that this was all taking place we found out that Central North, a respected church in Bartlett, is planning to start a church just around the corner from our house. I wrote one of the pastors, John Horne, who will be leading this church plant. We met for lunch and we hit it off quite well. I can say now that God has granted me a new mentor. (Right before all this took place, Craig Smith, my previous mentor, accepted a position as senior pastor of a church in Vail, Colorado.)

It turns out that Central North has a passion for training/mentoring young men to be teachers and leaders in the church. They gave Becky and me an assessment on spiritual gifts, which confirmed our gifts in pastoring/shepherding and teaching, as well as other strengths. They have graciously welcomed us and have offered us a place of service in the new church plant. The details have not been finalized, but we are so excited to be missionaries in this small town that we have grown to love. Soon we will be going to apologetics training so that we can be prepared to teach when the church branch opens this fall, Lord willing.

I have not determined whether or not seminary is in my future. I suspect it is, but I’m just not sure. I think that a good two years of service in the church plant will be beneficial in making such a determination. So I will continue to work whole-heartedly at EnSafe, where I manage/create internal software and web sites. There is another fellow there who is contemplating seminary and going into missions. God has given us to each other to be a great source of encouragement during this time of growth. For that I am eternally grateful.

For trivia’s sake, my parents came into town last weekend (Memorial Day weekend). Travis, my dad, my neighbor and me built a fence to enclose my back yard. We had a small turf war with another neighbor about my fence overhanging over their property by three inches. God gave me much grace to face him with courage and kindness, and I even turned the other cheek by cutting back extra from the overhang. I believe God preserved our chances of ministering the Gospel to them when the time is right. They desparately need to experience the joy of knowing Christ.

Well, that’s the start of this great adventure. More to come!