You may have noticed that my piano works are now free to download from this site. Let me explain my decision to give away my music.
I have spent several years growing frustrated with a dream of supporting my family with my music, but God has only seen fit to reimburse me for the expenses of producing CDs and buying equipment. The more I felt like a failure in this regard, the more I grew frustrated with God. After all, there are solo piano composers out there who are successfully supporting their families with their music. Why not me? God wasn’t meeting my goals.
This past year the Holy Spirit impressed on me more than once that I should give the music away and trust Him for provision. Each time, I countered this with all the logical financial reasons for not doing so, and I grew more frustrated. This came to a head this past week.
During a piano session my mind went blank and I couldn’t remember many of my unrecorded songs. Then on Tuesday night, during a sermon by Ed Newton on the subject of idolatry, the Holy Spirit and I had a sit-down talk. I did the sitting and He did the talking. He convicted me that I had placed music, money and fame before Him. That I was more interested in my plans and how I expected God to use my music than in finding out what He wanted me to do with it. So I asked Him.
Once again, “Let it go. Give it away. I will provide for your family.” I brought up the same old arguments. He said the same thing again. “Let it go. Give it away. I will provide for your family.” I asked, “Are you sure, Father? It makes no financial sense.” Same response. And so I broke. I surrendered. I offered God my music. “Whatever you want, Father, I will do it. Just show me what to do.”
Little did I know that the Holy Spirit was also convicting Becky that I had taken God off of the throne of my heart and put my music “career” in His place. She was praying that I would see the same thing. I guess her prayers worked. She later pointed out that her “happy John” had gone a long time ago and that somewhere along the way I had lost the ability to be content and enjoy life.
Broken and trying to hold back the tears I walked to the front of the church and knelt before Him and gave Him my dreams, my music, my everything. They are His now to do as He pleases. And so now, I play for an audience of One.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had doubts and obstacles since then in accomplishing this, including this website all of a sudden refusing to go into administration mode. I could read it, but I couldn’t edit it. Took a lot of Googling and digital surgery to find a solution, but why did it have to be this week?
Well, it’s back up now, and here I am…letting go…giving it away…trusting that God will provide.
So here’s how it works. For personal or non-profit use, you can download the music free of charge from this site. If you prefer to pay for the music, then you can click the donate button on the right, or visit the Buy page for more options. For commercial use, I still charge a licensing fee.
Part of this new direction is that I am also available to perform/preach/teach at your church, business, organization or house party. I simply request that you reimburse for expenses, and I accept donations or “love offerings”. My goal is to encourage believers in their faith and to introduce Christ to those who do not believe.
Please pray for me that I would continue to seek God’s direction as I move in this new direction of music ministry. I don’t know what the future holds, but that’s in His hands. From now on, I want what the Father wants. Please pray for wisdom on my behalf, and I welcome your thoughts.
In His service,
John
Some have even started using their gold and silver for trading goods and services. Those folks are looking for merchants to accept their silver and so I’m starting to accept it.
