John Albert Thomas Solo Piano

Reflections on 37

Yesterday I turned 38, and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the adventures of the past twelve months.  God has been so good to me and my family that I needed to share these with you.

On October 10, 2009, I released my third solo piano album, Zuzu’s Petals, with a piano concert featuring fellow piano composer Kirk Dearman.  Here’s an excerpt from that performance:

It was a time of celebration, but behind the scenes we ran out of funds to continue my attempt to become a self-employed musician.  Becky and I had many emotional discussions, having differing views of what to do about our situation.  We spent a lot of time in prayer, seeking God’s direction.

Honestly, I was determined to make it work at all costs, but in the end I had to humble myself, accept my wife’s assessment of the situation, and trust that God was leading me through her conviction that I needed to go back to the corporate world.

You know what?  She was right.  On Oct. 26, I started contract work for Vanick Group doing website development, a trade in which God has always prospered us.  It felt like my dream died, but I had to trust God with our future.

On January 12, 2010, I received an email from a good mentor, David Nevue, that two of my tracks from Zuzu’s Petals were added to Whisperings: Solo Piano Radio, the #1 solo piano radio station on the Internet.  Not only was my music being played around the world, but I was warmly welcomed by the Whisperings artist community.

In February, Becky and I spotted our dream house for sale and we began to pray for it.  We knew we couldn’t pursue it until I had a permanent, salaried position.  Hopefully Vanick would be able to hire me after my contract expired.  However, we were dismayed when I finished my contract early, and we were once again without a sustainable income.

A week later I showed up at Vanick based on a misunderstanding, however, it was the same day that another developer gave his notice that he was leaving.  Providentially, the door opened for me and I was hired immediately!

Becky and I were so full of joy that we began to explore the possibility of obtaining our dream house.  The family was even willing to swap houses to make it happen.  There was a problem, though.  In the period of six months, our houses had dropped 15% in market value.  We would have to short sale.  In the end, we decided to stay put.

We see now that God was protecting us from biting off more than we could chew.  We have some upcoming medical expenses that we need to pay for, and we have a mountain of debt leftover from my attempt at self-employment last year.  I don’t recommend using debt to start a business.  Now we’re living on cash and spending less than we earn.  Such liberation!

As for my music career, I now give my music away as a ministry, letting people pay what they can/want.  All of my music can be downloaded from http://music.johnalbertthomas.com.  You don’t have to pay, but any money you give will help fund my next project, which you can read about at http://nowisleepproject.org.

On the night before my 38th birthday, I had the honor of performing my debut Whisperings: Solo Piano concert with fellow artists Joseph Akins and Michael Dulin.  We played at Lane Music in Germantown, TN, and here is a video of our final act, which was a fun, improvisational piece played by all three artists:

In summary, I hope you catch a glimpse of God’s goodness to the Thomas family. He spent the year chipping away at my self-centered mind, re-minding me of His unconditional love and acceptance, allowing me to find joy and delight in the blessings He already gave me through Becky, Ainsley, Abby, Emma, and Will.

Sometimes, we have to let go of our dreams to enjoy our reality.

How To Let Dreams Die Gracefully

Men dream about their future; God plans it for them.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

The LORD will work out his plans for my life–for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me. ~ Psalm 138:8 (NLT)

A child’s mind whirls with imagination even before they are asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” 

Mine was quite active with dreams of writing a book, releasing a music album, running an orphanage with a boys choir, and so much more.  Some dreams I fulfilled, and others may remain dreams.

Over the years my dreams became more ambitious.  Not only did I want to release an album, I wanted to be a full-time musician.  On one occasion during early marriage, both young and foolish, I attempted this for a month before funds ran out and my previous employer graciously took me back.

Ten years later, armed with enough reserves to last six months, I ventured again to make it work.  That six months was an incredible, educational experience for me and my family.  In my need to make it work, I generated all kinds of ideas for marketing music.  I ended this experiment with the release of my third solo piano album, Zuzu’s Petals, which consumed the last of our savings.

So what happens when you realize your dream may die?

Clearly, my marketing had not yielded sustainable results.  I abhored the thought of letting my dream die.  I was convinced that this was God’s purpose for me.  I was convinced that He would provide for my family if I just stayed the course.

My definition of faith was staying the course and trusting God to provide.  Becky’s definition was going back to computer work (that God had always blessed financially) and trusting God to grow the musical seeds I had planted.  Coming to an understanding of these differences was, at the least, strenuous.

Through the counsel of others and the many patient appeals of Becky, I reluctantly agreed to go back to corporate life.  Dazed and confused, I felt the dream die deep inside me.  I surrendered my ambitions to God and trusted that He could do something with the mess I made, in His own time and His own way.

As the months went by, this proved to be the best decision for our family.  God gave me a contract job with so much overtime that we had just enough money to pay our property taxes on time and keep our bank account open.  That incredible orchestration of circumstances deepened our faith in the living God who is very real and very involved in the details of our lives.

When my contract ran out, there was not enough work to hire me as a full-time employee.  My job search proved fruitless.  With no income, we turned to God and asked for His provision.  A week later, as the result of a miscommunication, I showed up at my contract employer’s office the same day one of their senior web developers announced his resignation.  I was hired the next day.

What happened to my dreams of a music career during this time? 

Well, earlier this year I was informed that two of my new piano works were accepted for Whisperings Solo Piano Radio.  Not only was my music playing on mainstream internet radio around the world, I now had access to the entire community of Whisperings solo piano composers.  What a creative, passionate group of people who love their craft and work together to promote each other!

That brings us to the present.  Two weeks ago I was asked to do a joint concert at a Memphis-based music store with two well-known Whisperings artists.  While the details of this concert are forthcoming, I will say that the concert will take place exactly one year after I witnessed my first Whisperings solo piano concert at The Sound Kitchen in Franklin, TN, just outside of Nashville.

Friends, this wasn’t even on my radar last year.  Honestly, I can’t take credit for this.  There’s no room for boasting.  While I wasn’t looking, God watered the seeds I planted last year, in His own time and His own way.

Remember when I let my dream die?  Before that, my fist was clenched around it.  I did all the work and got all the credit.  I had to open my hand and let God take it from me.  I had to trust Him in a way that I never before imagined.

So, how do you let a dream die gracefully? 

1. Place your trust in the living God to do all that He has planned for you. 
2. Trust that His plans for you are far better than your own. 
3. Trust that He remains good, wise, and able to act on your behalf, even when you let go.

So, what’s your story? 

• Are you clinging to a dream that God is not blessing? 
• What might happen if you let go of it and trust Him with the results?

Stay tuned for Part 2:  How To Lose Your Dream House Gracefully

First Things First

Re-evaluating priorities and rethinking the purpose of my music

For the past 20+ years I made it my goal to make a living from my music, yet God hasn’t seen fit to bless it in that way. Instead He’s blessed me and my family through software and web development.

If I can find a web/software job, I’m taking it and staying there until God peels me away from it. I’d rather provide for my family everything I am capable of giving them than pursuing a dream that God doesn’t seem to agree with me on. The latter leaves my soul lean.

So I am letting go of the goal which has robbed me of my joy and consumed my mind to the exclusion of more important things. I will still compose and produce music, but only because I enjoy it. It will be a hobby to share, and not so much a business to run.

What does this mean to you, my friends?

The biggest change is in my mind.  The second biggest is allowing my fans to pay what they want for my downloads (including FREE), and to share it freely with their friends.  I will still sell sheet music, CDs, licenses for business use, piano tributes (portraits), etc.  Please stay tuned over the next week as I implement this change.

~

Better to forget the things we THINK will make us happy than to forget the things that ALREADY make us happy.

Another thought that has haunted me over the past few months is that I only have seven more years with my oldest daughter.  She’s had a father who is preoccupied mentally and emotionally with his dreams.  What she needs is a father who cares more for her than for himself.

Whatever we can dream up will last for a moment, but children are eternal.

Pursue them first, and then when they are gone, pursue your dreams.  If they are good dreams, they will rise again.

The world says pursue your dreams at any cost; but it is far better to enjoy what God has already given to you with contentment, joy and peace.