John Albert Thomas Solo Piano

How To Let Dreams Die Gracefully

Men dream about their future; God plans it for them.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

The LORD will work out his plans for my life–for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me. ~ Psalm 138:8 (NLT)

A child’s mind whirls with imagination even before they are asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” 

Mine was quite active with dreams of writing a book, releasing a music album, running an orphanage with a boys choir, and so much more.  Some dreams I fulfilled, and others may remain dreams.

Over the years my dreams became more ambitious.  Not only did I want to release an album, I wanted to be a full-time musician.  On one occasion during early marriage, both young and foolish, I attempted this for a month before funds ran out and my previous employer graciously took me back.

Ten years later, armed with enough reserves to last six months, I ventured again to make it work.  That six months was an incredible, educational experience for me and my family.  In my need to make it work, I generated all kinds of ideas for marketing music.  I ended this experiment with the release of my third solo piano album, Zuzu’s Petals, which consumed the last of our savings.

So what happens when you realize your dream may die?

Clearly, my marketing had not yielded sustainable results.  I abhored the thought of letting my dream die.  I was convinced that this was God’s purpose for me.  I was convinced that He would provide for my family if I just stayed the course.

My definition of faith was staying the course and trusting God to provide.  Becky’s definition was going back to computer work (that God had always blessed financially) and trusting God to grow the musical seeds I had planted.  Coming to an understanding of these differences was, at the least, strenuous.

Through the counsel of others and the many patient appeals of Becky, I reluctantly agreed to go back to corporate life.  Dazed and confused, I felt the dream die deep inside me.  I surrendered my ambitions to God and trusted that He could do something with the mess I made, in His own time and His own way.

As the months went by, this proved to be the best decision for our family.  God gave me a contract job with so much overtime that we had just enough money to pay our property taxes on time and keep our bank account open.  That incredible orchestration of circumstances deepened our faith in the living God who is very real and very involved in the details of our lives.

When my contract ran out, there was not enough work to hire me as a full-time employee.  My job search proved fruitless.  With no income, we turned to God and asked for His provision.  A week later, as the result of a miscommunication, I showed up at my contract employer’s office the same day one of their senior web developers announced his resignation.  I was hired the next day.

What happened to my dreams of a music career during this time? 

Well, earlier this year I was informed that two of my new piano works were accepted for Whisperings Solo Piano Radio.  Not only was my music playing on mainstream internet radio around the world, I now had access to the entire community of Whisperings solo piano composers.  What a creative, passionate group of people who love their craft and work together to promote each other!

That brings us to the present.  Two weeks ago I was asked to do a joint concert at a Memphis-based music store with two well-known Whisperings artists.  While the details of this concert are forthcoming, I will say that the concert will take place exactly one year after I witnessed my first Whisperings solo piano concert at The Sound Kitchen in Franklin, TN, just outside of Nashville.

Friends, this wasn’t even on my radar last year.  Honestly, I can’t take credit for this.  There’s no room for boasting.  While I wasn’t looking, God watered the seeds I planted last year, in His own time and His own way.

Remember when I let my dream die?  Before that, my fist was clenched around it.  I did all the work and got all the credit.  I had to open my hand and let God take it from me.  I had to trust Him in a way that I never before imagined.

So, how do you let a dream die gracefully? 

1. Place your trust in the living God to do all that He has planned for you. 
2. Trust that His plans for you are far better than your own. 
3. Trust that He remains good, wise, and able to act on your behalf, even when you let go.

So, what’s your story? 

• Are you clinging to a dream that God is not blessing? 
• What might happen if you let go of it and trust Him with the results?

Stay tuned for Part 2:  How To Lose Your Dream House Gracefully

There's Something In Here!

WOW! What a weekend! I guess I’ll end it with the beginning in mind.

Becky and I went to Franklin, TN where Dan Miller and his team hosted a two-day workshop chocked full of incredibly useful information about how to turn my ideas into thriving businesses.  I went mainly to find out how to build my music career, but little did I know that Becky and I were about to strike the motherload of self-discovery. From the moment we left Franklin till we arrived in Memphis, Becky and I talked and wrote non-stop about our business idea and plan. Let me explain.

For years I lived a melancholy existence cooped up behind a computer screen in the corporate world. Day after day I would dream up business ideas that would allow me to exit that existence and spread my entrepreneurial wings. I would shoot off a few emails to friends to get their feedback on my ideas to look for weaknesses. I would always end this exercise with a single thought or statement: “That’s a great idea. I don’t want to do it, but someone should!” Then I would settle back into corporate reality and grow more depressed. (Can I just say how patient my dear wife, Becky, has been with me all this time!)

What made it worse was that I love to compose piano music. I started composing at age 12 and received my college degree in music theory and composition. My piano works are manifestations of creativity in three or four minutes of sound. Over the years I released two solo piano albums, but they never took off. I always thought that God wanted me to be a professional solo piano composer. Last fall, during a church service, I surrendered my musical aspirations to Him completely.

Then in January, on a mission trip to Mexico, I told my pastor of my struggle to find God’s will for my life. He told me something very wise, “Sometimes, when we are seeking God’s will, He lets us struggle. It prepares us for the answer. Try to see your struggle as a positive thing.” Early the next morning, I turned in my journal to a blank page, set my pen down and pushed it across the table. I prayed, “Here, Father. You write it.” I finally let go of my expectations and stopped telling God what to do. I started to TRUST Him.

I came back and life changed. I realized that I couldn’t live a lie in the corporate world anymore. I started listening to Dan Miller’s podcasts and heard about the Roundtable. I knew that Becky and I needed to go to build our dream together. We were at a crossroads and we needed wise counsel from those who had moved from the corporate world into entrepreneurship successfully. I needed a plan to build my music business, or silver business, or nobody’s business.

Becky and I drove up to “The Sanctuary” as they affectionately call it and discovered that Dan and his wife Joanne had successfully built a place where home and business are woven together, secluded from the world, warm with hospitality and thoughtful ministry. No wonder they call it “The Sanctuary”. We had envisioned such a place for ourselves just a year ago. It was a beautiful setting, and we were greeted graciously by our generous hosts.

Two days of interaction worked relentlessly to chip away the dirt of self-doubt, inadequacy, and false assumptions. As I shed the shell of the man I was, I began to see that there’s something in here! All those years of struggle in corporate life finally made sense to me!

As fellow attendees expressed their struggle with how to take their business to the next level, my mind began to fill with business idea after business idea, like pieces of a puzzle coming together. Part of me didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to appear conceited, but if I had information that might really help then I needed to share it. That’s why we all went there, right?

The more I shared, the more I discovered that my ideas might be worth something. What if they could be used to double someone’s business? Or accelerate their economic model? I asked Chuck Bowen about the possibilities. I told him that I love coming up with business ideas, but I have so many of them I cannot build them all myself. He suggested that I could generate business ideas and then hand them off to others to make them happen. He suggested that I had a lot of creativity bottled up inside, and he’s absolutely right. By the end of the weekend, someone gave me a new nickname, “The Idea Guy.” That solidified in my mind what I need to do.

After a sad but satisfied ending to a great weekend, Becky and I went back to our hotel and brainstormed the concept of being an “idea guy”. How do I get there? What is my product? Who is my client? What makes me unique? All the things we learned over the weekend. We finally crashed.

Sunday morning we drove back to Memphis, TN. From the moment we left the hotel to the moment we drove up to our house we talked and wrote every idea down on paper, page after page of great ideas. I became my own Idea Guy. It flowed. It made sense. It’s doable. And best of all, my wife was right there by my side taking ownership. For the first time it was not MY thing. It was OUR thing. THAT’s the life I want. And so, over the coming days, we will digest and plan the entrepreneurial existence that we are wired to live.

Incalculable thanks to Dan, Joanne, Ashley, Kevin, Chuck, Kent, Deby and everyone who made the weekend a life-changing experience for me and my family. I hope to see them next year, or preferably sooner! Shoot…I’ll see them often on 48days.net.

From Angst

Angst.  It’s the word that Becky used last night to describe my state of being over the past few years.  She said it made me emotionally absent.  I had to agree.

Before I trekked to Baborigame in southwestern Mexico last week, which I will describe in later posts, I struggled night and day with angst.  The underlying cause for this was once again discontentment.  This discontentment was both divine and demonic.  (Before thinking such a statement is sacrilegious, please read Job.)  Let me explain.

For years I would go to work and sit behind a computer screen, clocking hours, counting on the next paycheck to cover our monthly expenses.  This is a good reason to go to work, but not a perfectly good reason.  For years I have had little-to-no desire to be doing what I’m doing.  I’m good at what I do, but it’s not my passion.  My passion is music and ministry.  So I lived day in and day out with a spirit of discontentment, frustrated that I wasn’t doing what I felt God created me to do.

Every month or two I would quite naturally go through brainstorming sessions whenever a “cool idea” of making money popped into my head.  It was usually something creative that would fascilitate the transition from the computer world to a life of residual income where I could be free to focus on music and ministry.  I’d bounce the ideas off of my very patient friends, who would critique the ideas.  Were they John’s ideas, or were they God’s ideas?  I could never tell.  Every idea would come and go, and the next day I’d go back to my computer work to cover my monthly expenses.  And the angst would grow each time I went through this process.

Then came Mexico.  I worked with my pastor, John Horne, on a job site and I told him of my struggles with wanting to be in music and ministry.  And he told me something that I’ll never forget.  He said that sometimes, when we are seeking God’s will, He lets us struggle.  It prepares us for the answer.  Try to see your struggle as a positive thing.

I told him how I had idea after idea and I just couldn’t do them all.  He went on to say that God could funnel those ideas such that any or every one of them contributes to the answer.

That’s when the paradigm shift began.  The rest of the day and again at 4:30 a.m. the next morning.  At 4:30, I woke up and I felt that God wanted me to go outside.  I argued a little because it was below freezing.  I did it anyway and I looked up.  The moon shone brightly and millions of stars were shining.  He reminded me of His promise to Abraham, that his descendents by faith would be as numerous as the stars.   God showed me the source of my angst.

I went back inside and warmed myself by the pot-belly stove.  I cried and prayed.  At 6:30 a.m. I said, “Father, I’m tired of trying to figure out your will.”  I turned my notebook over to a blank page and laid my pen on it.  I shoved it across the table and said, “Father, you write it.”  I went up and tried to go back to sleep.

So what was my source of angst?  Simply this, I didn’t trust God. I didn’t trust Him to show me His will in His time and His way…at the best time and in the best way.  I didn’t trust Him enough to wait patiently and peacefully, with contentment.

So I came back to Memphis a changed man.  Everywhere I am is His mission field.  My job, my neighborhood, my church and my home.  It is enough to simply “trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”

Last night, Becky used the word angst to describe what I was like before the trip.  But now the “old John” is back.  Instead of angst, she said, I now seem to have a peaceful and hopeful expectation.  I had to agree.

In His time and in His way He will reveal all things.

“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”  (Proverbs 16:9, NLT)